North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
