shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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