On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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