Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize