how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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