I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
not ubering you a puppy
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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