You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
