The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
