is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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