I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
is it fun? or sober?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
