Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
