yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
