My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want her autograph on my taint
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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