Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
