There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
love makes seman taste better
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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