We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
