u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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