So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
