I can't watch pbs sober anymore
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize