there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
