Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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