He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
