Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
