it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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