Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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