We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
