well you can't waste a boner
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
