I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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