I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
