she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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