Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
