This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
