You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
