Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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