I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
