Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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