Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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