She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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