he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
