I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize