haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
