i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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