Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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