The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize