i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize