didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
