I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
