Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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