We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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