We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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