I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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