No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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