Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize