Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
