I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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