there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
