I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
