he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
