haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
