Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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