Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
