she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
