My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
