so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
