Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
