Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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