I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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