I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
