yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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