he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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